Lord's Day July 13 This day Mr Crabtree preached from Ephesians iv 26 Be ye angry and sin not. This discourse was very seasonable to me. In many things I felt condemned and especially when the minister was speaking respecting being angry at the providence of God. I have for two or three days been troubled with fears respecting temporal things which have had a very unhappy effect upon me so as to harden my heart and distress my mind. I have found an evil heart of unbelief in departing from the living God Hebrews iii 12. After the morning service I had an interview with a friend and found some relief under my burthens in opening my mind to him. He told me that his feelings had often been the same as mine and mentioned for my encouragement those passages in Matthew vi 25, &c I went to prayer and was a little better.
Monday July 14 The weather is now extremely hot which occasions some degree of languor but I am better in health than I expected to be, thanks be to God for it. He is better to me than all my fears. My prayer is
Open my eyes thou God of love
And make me know thy mind
Send thy blessed Spirit from above
That I the truth may find
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