April 30 In the morning I read some account of the life of Mr John Draper.* He was a very eminent Christian. He lived a life of strict holiness, and died when about my age. O that I may follow his steps, and like him live and die!
Another month is come to a close; I have the same complaints to make as at the beginning. I have been chargeable with many sins of the heart, and many also in word and action. I have made but little progress in the ways of holiness, and gained but little advantage over the evil propensities of my heart. I have indeed formed many resolutions to walk more circumspectly, to be more constant and fervent in the private and public exercises of religion; but I have failed in the performance, and fallen into lukewarmness and indifference. I have been of but little use in my family, in the world, or in the church of God. My life has been one continued scene of imperfection and sin. If I had done all that the law of God requires, I should still have been 'an unprofitable servant.' What then shall I say of myself, since I have come so very far short of its righteous demands in every particular? I am a sinner, butblessed be God for Jesus Christ.
O Lord, I confess
To thee my distress,
And acknowledge my folly and sin;
How prone I'm to stray
From thy righteous way
How imperfect my actions have been.
The hymn of which the above verse is a part was composed at this time, and was many years after inserted in the volume of original hymns which he published.
* A spiritual legacy: being a pattern of piety for all young persons practice in a faithful relation of the life of Mr John Draper by Christopher Ness
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