John Gadsby on Fawcett

John Fawcett was born at Lidget Green, near Bradford, Yorkshire, Jan. 6th, (old style, that is now 18th,) 1739. He was brought up in the Established Church, but received his first convictions under Whitefield, while preaching in the open air at Bradford in 1755. The volume before me, however, though it consists of nearly 400 pages, and purports to be a Memoir of Mr. Fawcett, contains very little account of a work of grace on his soul. It would appear that he was “pious” from his youth, and it certainly is an unspeakable mercy to be kept from youthful sins. That Fawcett knew something, however, of the plague of his heart and of the healing balm, will, I think, be manifest from one or two extracts that I may have occasion to make from his diary. He lived in a day when free grace and free will were united together, so far as man could do it; and it was not until the separation between Whitefield and John Wesley that the mist began to be dispelled. Whitefield’s sermon on the occasion I have named was from John 3:14. “As long as life remains,” said Fawcett, “I shall remember both the text and the sermon;” for it seems they sank deep into his heart. He was then only 16 years of age. From this time he began to make a more public profession of religion, and joined the people then called Methodists.

Three years afterwards he joined the Baptist church at Bradford. “One Lord’s Pay,” he says, “I went to the public meeting, not without some apprehension of taking cold, which I believe was the case; for in the afternoon I felt extremely ill, and was overwhelmed with sickness. The sorrows and, as I thought, the pains of death, appeared to take hold upon me, I was ready to conclude that my useless life was drawing towards an end, and that the Lord was about to cut me off in the midst of my days. I had a deep sense of my past sins, which are many and grievous. I saw myself deserving of the divine displeasure, and that if I am ever saved, it must be through the mercy and grace of Jesus Christ. Many of my Christian friends discovered great sympathy with me. I could not forbear shedding tears at the sight of them. Having taken something to drink, after one of my brethren had offered up to God a fervent and suitable prayer, I attempted to walk home, and reached it, after a little time, by the assistance of some kind friends. Having perspired a little during the night, I found myself this morning much relieved, for which I desire to bless God with all my heart, and would earnestly implore that he would sanctify this affliction to the benefit of my soul. ‘It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I might learn thy statutes.’ (Ps 119:71.)” In 1763, at the request of the church, he entered on the work of the ministry. He went the following year to Wainsgate, over which church he was ordained, July 31st, 1765. His mind was so much exercised for about six months afterwards, that he seriously contemplated relinquishing the work altogether. He wrote the following letter to a friend

Dear Sir,—I have taken this opportunity to acquaint you with the bitter distress I at present feel. I fear I have entered upon a work to which God has not called me; and instead of combating these fears with success, I think I grow worse. I compare myself to the parched heath in the wilderness, which knoweth not when good cometh. I am continually bowed down under a sense of my weakness and foolishness. I spend my days in pain and anguish of mind on these accounts; and what will be the event of these things I know not. Surely, if the Lord had called me to the work, I should be more sensible of his presence with me, and of his assistance. I make my complaint to him daily, but he seems to cover himself with a cloud that prayer cannot pass through. I am ready to say with Job, ‘When I cry and shout he shutteth out my prayer.’ In attempting to make preparation for the pulpit, I sit for hours together, and can do little or nothing.

In 1772 he went to London, to supply for Dr. Gill, who, through age and infirmities, was incapacitated from preaching. After Dr. Gill’s decease, Mr. F. was invited to become the regular pastor, which, by the advice of some friends, and seeing that he had an increasing family, with only £25 a-year from the people at Wainsgate, he consented to do; but, after a portion of his furniture and books had been sold, he relented, and told his flock that if they would raise him £40 a-year, it would be the extent of his wishes. This, however, they declined to do. He nevertheless decided upon remaining, and throwing himself upon the providence of God. In 1777 a new chapel was erected at Hebden Bridge, no great distance from Wainsgate, and thither Mr. F. went. The chapel was capable of holding from 500 to 600 people. For several years prior to 1783, he had been a great sufferer from sickness and domestic calamities. In that year, however, (1783,) a favorable change took place in his health, and his appearance was so much altered for the better, that some of his friends could hardly recognise him. In 1703, after the death of Dr. Caleb Evans, Mr. F. was invited to become President of the Baptist Academy at Bristol; but this he declined. In 1808 he preached at the opening of the Baptist Chapel, York Street, Manchester, which had been erected by the people who left St. George’s Road when Mr. Gadsby settled there. Mr. F. was connected with the Baptist Association, and Mr. G. was by them accounted an “Antinomian.” In 1814 Fawcett’s health was evidently rapidly declining, and early in 1816 he had become so weak that he frequently had to use crutches. The account of the state of his mind during his last illness is as follows: “As to the state of his mind in this last illness, it was conformable to what he had experienced and evidenced through all his former afflictions. Mercy, divine mercy, was what he implored, with all the lowliness of a babe in Christ. He joined with the greatest fervency in the petitions offered up at his bedside; and though his mind was not in general so much elevated with holy joy as some of God’s people have been, he had solid comfort, and often expressed his ‘desire to depart and to be with Christ.’ A short time before he expired, he said, ‘Come, Lord Jesus, come quickly.’ One of his attendants having said, ‘There remaineth a rest for the people of God,’ he added, ‘O receive me to thy children!'” He died July 25th, 1817.

The following are extracts from his diary:

Another month is come to a close; I have the same complaints to make as at the beginning. I have been chargeable with many sins of the heart, and many also in word and action. I have made but little progress in the ways of holiness, and gained but little advantage over the evil propensities of my heart. I have indeed formed many resolutions to walk more circumspectly, to be more constant and fervent in the private and public exer- cises of religion; but I have failed in the performance, and fallen into lukewarmness and indifference. I have been of but little use in my family, in the world, or in the church of God. My life has been one continued scene of imperfection and sin. If I had done all that the law of God requires, I should still have been ‘an unprofitable servant.’ What, then, shall I say of myself, since I have come so very far short of its righteous demands in every particular? I am a sinner, but blessed be God for Jesus Christ:

O Lord, I confess,

To thee my distress,

And acknowledge my folly and sin;

How prone I’m to stray,

From thy righteous way,

How imperfect my actions have been.

May 1st, 1760.—I have been but little this day in prayer and meditation. I have found pride and ambition working in my heart. I have reason to fear that I have sought my own praise more than the glory of God in writing the foregoing verses. I have been very cold in my evening devotions.

May 26th. My sins have this day been many and great. I have to complain of wandering thoughts and negligence in private prayer; unreasonable anger, and too much levity.

Wednesday, Oct. 21st. —This morning I had reason to complain of hardness of heart, and to lament an absent God; but I was enabled to look again towards his holy temple. I see great need of divine strength to preserve me from falling into those nets and snares which I meet with by the way. Alas! How prone am I to be led away by the corrupt inclinations of my own vicious heart! Lead thou me, God, by thy Spirit, and let me not wander from thy commandments!

Fawcett was greatly fond of psalmody, and often said, “If the Lord has given to man the ability to raise such melodious sounds and voices on earth, what delightful harmony will there be in heaven!” His hymns were printed in Leeds, in 1782. He was also the author of several other works. The well-known hymn, “A crumb of mercy, Lord, I crave,” though not published in Fawcett’s works, was nevertheless written by him. It appears in the “Gospel Magazine,” 1777, with his name and address in full.