Diary Extract 8 March 31 1760

Monday, March 31.

Lord teach me how to watch and pray,

To keep my heart both night and day,

To try each motion of the mind,

And check the rising lusts I find.

Do thou my sensual heart renew,

And pardon my transgressions too;

Give strength to walk in duty's road,

That narrow path which leads to God.

This morning I rose in good health, at my usual time. I had much pleasure in private prayer, but was discomposed in family worship. I was distressed by sinful thoughts in the afternoon. I am now brought to the close of this month. O Lord, my God, look upon me; and as my days and months roll on, may I increase in grace and usefulness!

Diary Extract 7 March 30, 1760

Lord's Day, March 30 This morning I did not rise till nearly seven. I was criminal in neglecting to fix my thoughts upon Divine subjects: I also indulged in a light and trifling frame of mind, which I have always found to be prejudicial. About noon I retired, and endeavoured to pour out my supplications before the Lord. In this work I was not altogether unaffected. I had some earnest breathings and warm desires for the pardon of all my offences, for a sanctified heart, for strength against sin, for a Divine blessing upon me this day, for the presence of God in his ordinances, and that this day may be a preparation for the duties of following days.

 In family worship I found some satisfaction, especially in singing Psalm v.

Long as I live I'll bless thy name,

My King, my God of love,

My work and joy shall be the same

In the bright world above.

Let me this day, O my God 'sit under thy shadow with great delight, and let thy fruit be sweet to my taste!' Make me this day 'to drink of the rivers of thy pleasure.' Thou art the centre of all my happiness. Whom have I in heaven but thee? Whom have I in the earth that I desire in comparison of thee?' I'll bid adieu to all other refuges, and take shelter in thee, 'my shield, and my exceeding great reward.

Diary Extract 6 March 29 1760

Saturday, March 29 I endeavoured when I rose to employ my thoughts on Divine subjects, but had to complain of levity of mind. I had some pleasure in my devotional exercises, both in retirement and in my family. Read Psalm li.

In the former part of the day, when engaged in my employment, I was infested by vain thoughts, but at noon was refreshed in prayer and reading a portion of Scripture. At night I was not so composed in my mind as I could have wished to be.

Diary Extract 5 March 28 1760

Cotton Mather

Friday, March 28 This morning I rose in good health between five and six. I found my mind attracted heaven-wards. In private and family devotion I had some humblings of heart, and earnestly implored that God would be merciful to me, and pardon my iniquity. Through the day my mind was composed, though I was admonished, and not without some cause, for neglecting my business, and devoting an undue portion of my time to books. At night I read a little in Babbington's "Notes on the Bible," after which I spent some time in private prayer, but had no great enlargement. The remainder of the evening I employed in perusing the "History of New England," by Cotton Mather. I was much interested by the account of Mr. Cotton and Mr. Norton. Oh that I could learn to follow them!"

* Cotton Mather (1663-1728) Magnalia Christi Americana: o, The Ecclesiastical History of New-England first published 1702

Diary Extract 4 March 24 1760

March 24, 1760. Ætatis 20. - A COVENANT WITH GOD.-Incomprehensible Being! 'who searchest the heart, and triest the reins of the children of men': thou knowest my sincerity, -my thoughts are all unveiled to thee: I am surrounded by thine immensity: thou art a present though invisible witness of what I am now engaged in;-I am taking hold of thy strength that I may be at peace with thee.'

I here bind myself, O Lord, to be thine, by a sacred and everlasting obligation; I devote myself to be thy servant, to perform the work which thou assignest to me; I renounce the glories and vanities of this present evil world, and choose thee as the source of my happiness, my supreme felicity, and everlasting portion. This is my deliberate, my free and sincere determination,-a determination, which by thy grace, I will never retract.

Oh! thou, by whose power alone I shall be able to stand, put thy fear in my heart that I may never depart from thee.-Let not the world with all its flatteries, nor death, nor hell with all its terrors, induce me to violate this sacred judgment. Oh! let me never live to abandon thee, nor draw the impious breath that would deny thee.

And now, let surrounding angels witness, ye saints witness, that I solemnly devote the powers and faculties of my soul to the service of God; and should I presumptuously employ any of the advantages thou hast given me to thy dishonour, or forsake thee, let them testify against me, and let my own words condemn me.

JOHN FAWCETT.

Thus have I subscribed myself to be the Lord's. God is my Father and Friend. Christ is my all-sufficient Saviour; and the Spirit of God will, I trust, be my Sanctifier and my Comforter.

God is my all-sufficient good,

My portion and my choice;

In him my vast desires are fill'd,

And all my powers rejoice.

Diary Extract 3 March 23 1760

William Grimshaw

Lord's Day, March 23 Mr Crabtree being indisposed, I went to Howarth to hear Mr. Hartley*

In the morning he paraphrased, in a very profitable manner, on Rom. xii. 9–13: 'Let love be without dissimulation,' &c. I endeavoured to take down some short hints of what he delivered, and also of the sermon in the afternoon, from Luke i. 74, 75. After the public services were over, I and my companion Mr. William Roe, were much gratified, and I hope edified, by conversation with Mr. Hartley.

* Both converted through William Grimshaw (1708-1763), William Crabtree (1720-1811) went on to pastor at Westgate, Bradford, and James Hartley (1722-1780) later founded West Lane Baptist Church, Haworth.

Diary Extract 2 March 21 1760

Friday, March 21-This morning I rose at half past five; attended to private and family worship; read two Psalms, and a page or two in the "Night Thoughts,"* which were a means of warming my affections, and preparing me for the duties of the day.

*Edward Young

Diary Extract 1 March 20, 1760

Fawcett kept a diary for while as a young man and his son gives extracts.

March 20, 1760.- This day I have been reviewing my past life. By the good hand of God upon me, I have been brought through many difficulties. I can reflect upon little in my conduct with satisfaction. I have often been disobedient, and rebelled against God. O Lord! thou knowest all my weaknesses!-Pardon what is past, and remember not the sins and offences of my youth. Give me strength and grace to begin my life anew. Subdue the power of sin in my heart, and enable me to walk more holily and more uprightly.

"My soul now flies to thee, her trust, her treasure,

As misers to their gold, while others rest.

In the evening I spent some hours in building a wall before my window, where I intend to plant a few herbs. While making this little improvement, I had many pleasing meditations concerning Christ as being the foundation, the corner stone, &c. My evening exercises were not performed with much animation. I had reason to complain of dulness, which might partly be owing to fatigue.